I thought I was done with noting profiles. But I ran across one that I think is worse than a blank profile.

You may have noticed that some profiles contain warnings that copying any portion of that profile will result in “legal ramifications” – or some other awkward imprecise threat.

I understand the motivation. Many years ago on Yahoo a man copied one of my profiles word for word. The theft greatly offended me. I could’ve complained to Yahoo. Unlikely the company would have done anything.

The dark caveats and the end or profiles are probably not enforceable. And even if the copying were ruled against by a judge or jury the penalty – if any – would be less than the cost of the lawsuit.

None of the profiles contain sentences worth protecting. They are just concatenations of generic sentiments.

The profile that caught my eye: it contained the warning only. Nothing describing the writer or what he was looking for. Essentially it threatened anyone who copied the threat.

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1. Master / Mistress Please Read Your Profile
2. Worst Profile
3. Your Profile Is So Exciting To Me Sir

Don’t You Dare Copy My Profile
BDSM Romance - Notes on Power Exchange and S&M by an Erotically Electic Guy

I just read a profile that says only:

looking to explore my desires to control and use.

You might expect me to mock the guy because the profile is too short.

But the words admit inexperience and make no demands. It is easy to belive that he’s willing to discuss and negotiate. His mind hasn’t been corrupted by absolutist fantasies.

And I’ve complained about tops who seem to be typing with one hand while they wank with another. Unable to distinguish between what they think they want and what they might possibly get.

People visiting this site might read some entries and think I have it in for dominant persons and sadists. Not at all. Some of my satisfaction in life comes from another person’s will and cruelty.

If you’d known me – if only virtually – to read what I’ve written over the years about sadism, masochism and consensual power exchange you’d see that I often signaled out men who describe themselves as submissive for dispraise.

Sadly regardless of power exchange orientation most men and women need to discern what they really need, discover what is possible and learn how to convey that in an online personal ad or profile.

Just so you know.

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3. Master Multiple Profiles

Criticizing Tops
BDSM Romance - Notes on Power Exchange and S&M by an Erotically Electic Guy

I’ve often written about men – tops and bottoms – whose profiles seem to have been written when they were emotionally intoxicated by porn. Drunk with sadistic excess.

There’s a very different class.

Man who post personal ads on kinky hookup and dating sites want many different things: conventional SSCM or RACK BDSM sessions, a slave girl lover, just somebody to keep house and suck his cock.

Or maybe just a girlfriend. There are men who show know sign that they understand that many of the women on the site what to be whipped and even degraded.

These guys seem to be looking for vanilla sweethearts. Is Master Nice Guy reading for a girl who wants to be locked in a cage, pissed on and told she’s a worthless slut?

They often say they want a special lady. No qualifications. Were I a heteorsexual women the very phrase special lady would push me away. You suspect he spent his youth watching the Lifetime Network.

I’d really like to hear from bottoms who perhaps dealt with a Master Nice Guy.

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3. Master / Mistress Please Read Your Profile

Master Nice Guy Finishes Last
BDSM Romance - Notes on Power Exchange and S&M by an Erotically Electic Guy

LOL is rarely a good sign in any communication. But I admit to having a couple of friends who have the habit.

In BDSM profiles by tops it is invariably a bad sign. (Bottoms are usually too lost in either nervousness or fear to insert inane giggles into their profiles.)

Tops write:

Never know what to put here LOL!

Learn if you want to inspire respect.

I’m different. LOL!

How?

I don’t what the usual relationship. LOL!

In what way?

I’ll fill this in later. LOL!

You never do.

Really I’m talking about male tops. Dominant women don’t seem nearly as likely to do this. It isn’t characteristic of their profiles (even if those have other problems).

Don’t LOL yourself into lonliness.

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LOL!
BDSM Romance - Notes on Power Exchange and S&M by an Erotically Electic Guy

Slave Master

A short while back I ran across a profile by a man who makes voluntary submission an agreement to do anything and everything though his mind. He makes agreement obey his every desire sound like a matter of morals, ethical principles.

The portion of his profile that really caught my attention:

Someone that will follow the house rules and protocols that I have set forth, it is ever expanding but with 30 pages already, I think it is a good start.

Thirty pages and growing. That makes the old list of 128 slave rules that used to provoke so much laughter almost seem sensible.

His thirty pages of rules is at least figuratively porn that he masturbates to.

This guy has already posted his second profile. It is the same except for the name. I won’t be surprised if his next profile is just a rant complaining that submissive people aren’t sincere. Aren’t real.

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Thirty Pages of Slave Rules
BDSM Romance - Notes on Power Exchange and S&M by an Erotically Electic Guy

A woman here in North Catolina wrote to me. She wanted to know if I had any additional photographs of myself (I don’t nor a camera with which to take any.)

I apologized and observed that I’d read her profile and didn’t feel that I was the kind of man that she was looking for. Her profile stated that she didn’t want anyone overweight. The rest of it was the usual bitching about the submissive guys who contacted her. To be bald about it she was fat and quite ugly.

She wrote to say that I could visit her and we’d see how it went. I replied expressing my regret that I was unable to leave Durham at this time but that perhaps that would change. No response.

I don’t think I could tolerate her. That she is physically unappealing is irrelevant. I want a sadist not a beauty pageant winner. Besides I no prize myself anymore.

Unavoidably sounding arrogant I confess that I’ve never felt that a top needs to be as smart as I am. Not that I want a fool (except in fantasy). Common sense is all I ask for. And a little skill with whips and canes.

My messages to her:

Dear Mistress X,

…
…
…

Best regards,
Richard

This woman’s communications looked like a scrabble board after a nuclear war. No capitalization. No punctuation. She didn’t even bother to spell “me” correctly.

How can you respect or trust someone like that?

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Mistress Stupid
BDSM Romance - Notes on Power Exchange and S&M by an Erotically Electic Guy

A male top wrote to me recently and it inspired distrust, perhaps paranoia.

Bits and pieces:

• The man is much younger.
• His profile fits me very, very closely in some ways.
• He’d just joined the site.
• His profile photograph is black and white.
• The photograph looks dated and professional.

The black ahd white photo that looks as if it might have come from a magazine made me really fear the profile is a scam or fake of some sort.

With no other justification other than nervous intuition I never responded to the guy.

I feel a bit guilty about this. But I couldn’t figure out any proper way to say: prove to me you aren’t a nut or con artist. Justification of paranoid feelings often occurs ex post facto.

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Paranoid Masochist
BDSM Romance - Notes on Power Exchange and S&M by an Erotically Electic Guy

The last few weeks I’ve noticed a surge in new BDSM – Tops, I don’t look at Bottom’s normally.

Some were withdrawn almost instantly Many were blank, offering no hint or clue as to the man’s kinks, fetishes or requirements.

A guy with a blank profile wrote me. He gave me his AOL email address. I wrote the guy citing his invitation to contact him. I had a full profile, he had none: what should I say?

He responded saying he’d hoped I’d let him know what I was looking for. I like to think several hundred words in a profile gives a good indication of my desires. BDSM Romance is in my sig. He said he’d take a look at the site and get back to me.

He didn’t. Maybe he didn’t like what he saw here. Or felt that I’d been inadequate in communicating.

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Christmas Season Profiles
BDSM Romance - Notes on Power Exchange and S&M by an Erotically Electic Guy

If your taking care of your family or parents, don’t tell me your looking to be a slave; too bad you assume your parents are gonna die soon. We are not here to wait for your parents to die off.

Naturally we want commitment if hoping for a serious power exchange relationship. But that these two dominants chose this wording only puts off a discerning reader.

No related posts.

Odd Personal Ad
BDSM Romance - Notes on Power Exchange and S&M by an Erotically Electic Guy

People often send pointless malignant notes who offend them by simply having a certain preference or taste.

In the same-sex portion of my vanilla sexuality I prefer highly feminine, waifish, weak guys. The more ‘sissified’ the better.

On AOL many years ago a message from someone with a screenname like ‘bigbadbear’ asking me how dare I like such disgusting creatures as femme gay men. And his wasn’t the only communication bitching about my taste in male lovers.

On Recon I’ve been sent mysterious objurgations to “Grow up boi!” No explanation. Some thing or things in one of my profiles I guess. Writing back to ask what prompted the remark never garners a reply.

Yesterday on CollarMe a man wrote to tell me that it was offensive of me to have listed enemas as a soft limit. He’s over a thousand miles away so he isn’t planning on trying to meet me. Evidently the idea that someone might refuse one is disgusting for him to contemplate. (Soft Limits: I won’t do it the first time that I meet you But if we are going to see each other repeatedly then I’ll willingly submit to the act).

Nothing makes a man* less masterful than sending unasked for abuse from the anonymity of internet dating sites.

* No woman has ever sent me anything like that.

No related posts.

Online Harassment
BDSM Romance - Notes on Power Exchange and S&M by an Erotically Electic Guy