Sadomasochism Comprises Sexual Orientations
I got this unexpected email:
I’ve been fascinated with this concept since finishing Elise
Sutton’s Female Domination. . .. have to
wonder, how do you get a submissive to get on it if he isn’t
“willing” or he has the inner strength to submit to such.
Seems I would really have to have a good reason.
Beyond getting a non-submissive boyfriend to play bedroom games she’d fail. He’d eventually get tired of it and leave. There’s always the chance of latent submissiveness but there’s no winning in striving for the unlikely.
People need to understand that BDSM – D/s, S&M, Bondage, Humiliation – these erotic needs, desires, inclinations are issue of sexual orientation. Just as much as gender orientation.
The sadist or masochist can’t stop being who they are anymore than a gay man can be converted by Marcus Bachmann into a heterosexual.
Being dominant or submissive is an issue of inner nature. Qualities settled in us when we were innocent children. Fighting against your sexuality only leads to unhappiness.
And people are kinky in their own individual way. And there desires and pleasures often modify in the presence of a top or bottom they really enjoy being with.
If you are a sadist, dominant or masochist, submissive person and your lover or spouse doesn’t share your needs then you need to either leave the relationship or arrange for your partner to your exploring BDSM with others.
Related posts:
[...] For me I’d say submission is deferring to the top’s wishes as best as I can. That is consistent with my emotional and physical well-being. People submit because they believe it will satisfy an internal necessity. [...]