I’ve had no-shows for regular (non-bdsm-related) dates with online guys before. As far as bdsm dates, I’ve had people cancel at the last minute, but never just not show up. But I haven’t made too many.

I suspect most just chicken out, like you said. I understand the urge.

Or maybe that they’ll need to confront their own sexuality head-on. Until now, it’s existed only in fantasy; to suddenly be faced with he realization of a wish can be heady and frightening.