S&M and Wanking: A Disconnect
Image by Rhodes. Brush CBT feels incredible.
A couple of nights ago I had a kinky dream.
In the dream a woman was massaging my penis while she tortured me. She would cease if I objected to my suffering. The pleasure of her touch was so great that I couldn’t bring myself to ask for mercy.
Then my dream stepped back and I dreamed I was masturbating to a fantasy of the prior situation.
A happy dream. I rarely dream of sex; almost never of BDSM.
A surprise: I don’t ordinarily connect my own physical erotic delight with my masochism.
The idea of masturbating or having an orgasm during S&M never occurred to me until I read of it in a story on the Nifty Archive. I found the idea incongruent, discordant. Ending a scene with my own orgasm didn’t fit the preconceptions of a thousand fantasies.
To this day if a dominant person were to order me to wank for her or his pleasure I’d probably feel confused and unable to do so unto completion.
The inevitable exception: I have imagined masturbating at the beginning of a session. Normally before being beaten. The post dopamine release refractory period would surely make the masochistic experience more challenging.
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